Monthly Archives: September 2010

Duck Blood Anyone?

It is served as a semi-solid glassy blubber that jiggles this way and that, like jello. I spooned it around in my bowl, thrusting it against lettuce and cow stomach. Then I closed my eyes, prodded my soul for courage, … Continue reading

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Our Large Russian Friend

Staring down the barrel of a Russian tank, I felt a feverish jolt running through my vertebrae. The tingling seemed a primitive reaction to confronting my mortality. Then again, it could have been a pulled muscle. I strained something while … Continue reading

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Cold Showers Build Character

…I tell myself as I head to the washroom. Forget the gold-laced bathrooms of the Holiday Inn. I’m a full-throttled Chinese student, and I will live as the Chinese Everyman does. I will take a cold shower. Here I am … Continue reading

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Irony, Chinese Style

A dozen fingers wage a tug-o-war over my t-shirt. “Hey boy you have a look here, we got movie player,” a small, graying Chinese woman shrills. “15 kuai remote control phone charger!” says a leathery-skinned vendor, hand on my shoulder. … Continue reading

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Bridget

Nobody messes with Bridget. She’s the kind of no-holds-barred veteran Chinese recruiter who culls blockheads like me faster than Michael Vick can whip his whippets. She wanted professionals. There was no way my powdered baby-bottom was squirming through her filter. … Continue reading

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Incredulity

Whole wheat bread: 5 yuan. Cucumber-flavored potato chips: 4 yuan. A large bottle of green tea: 8 yuan. Telling the cashier you chop down trees during your free time because of a tonal mistake: priceless. There are some things in … Continue reading

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Day One

I’m nothing out of the ordinary:  just a risk-guzzling, dare-delighting, testosterone-pumped 18 year-old who laps up the thrill of danger for breakfast. I’ve been in this country for less than 24 hours, and I’m hooked. On my first day, for … Continue reading

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